Doing Your Best When Life Is the Worst
There are some people who are easy to be kind to. They encourage you, appreciate you, and make it easy to give them your best.
And then there are other people.
They misunderstand you. They question your motives. They take what you meant for good and somehow find a way to make it bad. You try to help, and they seem determined to make your life more difficult.
We know kindness is a fruit of the Spirit. We know Jesus calls us to love, forgive, bless, and serve. But there are moments when kindness feels crazy.
What do you do when you give somebody your best and they give you their worst? How do you deal with difficult people without becoming ugly yourself?
Difficult people do not simply test our patience. They test our character. If we are not careful, their anger becomes our anger. Their bitterness becomes our bitterness. Their ugliness begins to shape us.
The story of David and Saul found in 1 Samuel shows us another way.
When Success Makes You a Target
David may have had one of the worst workplaces in the Bible.
He was brought into Saul’s court specifically to make things better. When Saul was tormented, David played music and brought him relief. David served faithfully, defeated Goliath, went wherever Saul sent him, and succeeded in everything he was asked to do.
Then a song changed everything: “Saul has killed his thousands, but David his tens of thousands” (1 Samuel 18:7).
David’s success exposed Saul’s insecurity. Saul became jealous and suspicious. Before long, the king whom David had faithfully served was throwing spears at him and plotting his death.
David had fought lions, bears, and a giant. But what do you do when someone who once loved you now wants to destroy you?
Sometimes the people you have helped the most will hurt you the deepest. Sometimes it is intentional; other times, you become a casualty of a war happening inside them. Either way, their behaviour confronts you with a choice: Will their lack of character determine yours?
Don’t Become Saul to Defeat Saul
David eventually had opportunities to retaliate.
On one occasion, Saul entered a cave without realizing David and his men were hiding inside. David’s men were convinced God had delivered Saul into his hands. David could end the chase, remove the threat, and take the throne God had already promised him.
But David refused to kill Saul.
Later, David entered Saul’s camp while everyone slept. Saul’s spear was beside his head, and Abishai offered to kill him with one strike. Again, David refused.
David would not become Saul in order to defeat Saul.
That matters because it is possible to win an argument and lose your character. You can prove your point and damage your witness. You can hurt the person who hurt you, only to discover that you have become just like them.
First Peter 3:9 tells us not to repay evil for evil or insult for insult, but to give a blessing instead. That is not weakness. It takes more strength to bless than it does to retaliate.
You do not overcome evil by becoming better at evil. You overcome evil with good.
Forgiveness Does Not Mean Unlimited Access
Refusing revenge does not mean pretending destructive behaviour is acceptable.
David forgave Saul, but David still ducked.
When Saul threw the spear, David moved. Eventually, he got out of town. He did not kill Saul, but neither did he keep volunteering to stand beside Saul’s spear.
Protecting yourself is not necessarily unloving. It can be wise.
Jesus told His disciples to be “as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). We need both. Innocence without wisdom can leave us vulnerable to manipulation. Wisdom without innocence can make us cynical and calculating.
Forgiveness and access are not the same thing. You can forgive someone and still recognize that trust has been broken. You can pray for someone without placing yourself back within reach of the spear. You can honour what is good in someone without denying what is dangerous.
Forgive always—but remember that trust is earned.
Don’t Let Hurt Harden Your Heart
Spite is obvious. Sourness is more subtle.
Maybe you never retaliate, but somewhere inside you decide, “I will never let anyone get that close again.” You keep serving, but you stop trusting. You keep smiling, but you hold your heart at a safe distance.
The problem is that we can begin making new people pay for old wounds.
Jesus knew Judas would betray Him. He knew Peter would deny Him. He knew the crowd shouting “Hosanna” would soon be replaced by one shouting “Crucify Him.” Yet He still loved.
Jesus did not allow the unfaithfulness of people to change the faithfulness of His heart.
Ask God to heal your heart without closing it. Ask Him to help you remain tender without remaining trapped.
Keep Doing Good
The final temptation is simply to stop.
You tried to help and got hurt, so you stop helping. You served without appreciation, so you stop serving. You trusted someone and were betrayed, so you stop trusting. You gave your best and were criticized anyway, so you decide never to give your best again.
But the answer to being hurt while doing good is not to stop doing good.
“Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up” (Galatians 6:9).
Saul could chase David out of the palace, but he could not chase the purpose of God out of David. He could take David’s position, comfort, and reputation. He could force David into caves. But he could not take David’s calling, and he could not force David to become bitter.
That choice still belonged to David.
The same is true for us. We may not get to choose how somebody treats us, but we still get to choose what kind of people we will become.
Jesus gave this world His very best, and the world gave Him a cross. He was betrayed, falsely accused, mocked, beaten, and crucified. Yet He did not allow our worst to change who He was. Because He did not stop, forgiveness, healing, and new life are available to us.
You do not have to carry the spear somebody threw at you—and you do not have to throw it back. You can lay it down.
Let God deal with Saul. You keep becoming who God has called you to be.
Keep loving. Keep serving. Keep building. Keep believing.
Even when life gives you its worst, keep giving God your best.

Doing Your Best When Life Is The Worst
What do you do when you give someone your best, but they give you their worst?
Drawing from David’s difficult relationship with King Saul, Pastor Gary explores how to deal with hurt, betrayal, jealousy, and opposition without allowing someone else’s behaviour to change your character. David refused to become spiteful or bitter, but he also understood the importance of wisdom and healthy boundaries.
“Doing Your Best When Life Is the Worst” is a practical and encouraging message about remaining kind without being naïve, forgiving without surrendering healthy boundaries, and faithful even when doing good comes at a cost. You may not be able to control how others treat you, but you can choose who you will become.
Keep loving. Keep serving. Keep building. Even when life gives you its worst, keep giving God your best.
Primary Scriptures: 1 Samuel 18–24; John 15:18; 1 Peter 3:8–9; Matthew 10:16; Galatians 6:9; Nehemiah 6:3





