Why Can’t We Be Friends? Blog
Choosing Character Over Success

Mr. Gary Adduono • Lead Pastor
September 6, 2026

9 Minute Read

Why Can’t We Be Friends?

Living in Northern Ontario, you don’t have to travel very far to find yourself in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes you’re going fishing, hunting, or heading out to camp. And sometimes you listened to somebody who said, “Oh, there’s a shortcut.”

That’s how a twenty-minute drive becomes an afternoon and an insurance claim.

Before heading into the wilderness, one of the most important things you can do is tell somebody where you’re going and when you expect to return. If something happens, somebody needs to know where to look.

That raises a question worth asking about more than our next fishing trip: Who is looking for you?

Who notices when you’re missing? Who can hear you say, “I’m fine,” and recognize that you’re not? We can have a phone full of contacts and nobody we feel comfortable calling. People might know where we work, what we drive, and what we bought at the grocery store. But do they know where we really are?

David needed a friend, too

After David defeated Goliath, his story took an important turn. In 1 Samuel 18:1–4, Jonathan formed a deep friendship with David, made a covenant with him, and gave him his robe, tunic, sword, bow, and belt.

Jonathan was Saul’s son. David was the man God had anointed to become king. There was every reason for their relationship to become a competition. Yet Jonathan chose to love the person whose future would change his own.

“Jonathan could celebrate what God was doing in David, even when it changed what Jonathan expected for himself.”

We need that kind of friendship. We also need to become that kind of friend.

Created for connection

A 2021 American survey found that 15 percent of men reported having no close friends, compared with 3 percent in 1990. Women also experienced a decline in close friendships. Those are American findings, but the question reaches into our own communities: who do we actually have close to us? Source: Survey Center on American Life

The consequences matter. The U.S. Surgeon General’s 2023 advisory compared the mortality impact of lacking social connection to smoking up to fifteen cigarettes a day. This is a comparison of premature-death risk, rather than identical effects on the body. Friendship cannot cure every illness, but social connection matters deeply to our well-being. Source: U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory

God made us for relationship. David and Jonathan’s story helps us see six ways godly friendship strengthens our lives.

1. Navigation: We need help finding our way
“Where there is no [wise, intelligent] guidance, the people fall [and go off course like a ship without a helm], But in the abundance of [wise and godly] counselors there is victory.”

Proverbs 11:14 — AMP

It is easy to give advice when somebody else is making the decision. Our own decisions feel more complicated because our feelings, history, fears, and desires are involved.

In 1 Samuel 20, Jonathan helped David navigate a dangerous situation. He discovered Saul’s intentions and used their agreed signal involving arrows to warn David that he needed to leave. Jonathan had information David could not access from his hiding place.

Sometimes friendship gives us that same gift: someone who can see what we are struggling to see.

“A good friend helps you see beyond what you feel.”

Technology can help us organize our thoughts, but it cannot replace a trustworthy person who knows us, listens carefully, and speaks truth with love. Find people who love Jesus, love you, and are willing to be honest.

Who do you invite into your decisions before they become consequences? Are you asking for advice, or shopping for agreement?

2. Celebration: We need people who can be happy for us
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

Romans 12:15 — NIV

We recognize the value of a friend who stays close when life falls apart. But who can hear our good news without making us feel guilty for having it?

Jonathan acknowledged that David would become king and expressed his willingness to stand beside him. He made room for David’s future, even though it affected his own expectations (1 Samuel 23:16–17).

“Your friend’s blessing does not mean God has forgotten you.”

Celebrating someone else can be difficult when their answered prayer touches something we are still waiting for. We can bring that ache honestly to God and still choose to love our friend well.

Friendship also needs ordinary joy: a meal, a campfire, a story, and laughter. There is something good about being with people around whom we can relax and simply be ourselves.

3. Formation: We need people who help us grow
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Proverbs 27:17 — NIV

We like the idea of becoming sharper. We are sometimes less enthusiastic about the friction involved.

“Lord, make me more patient.” Then we get stuck on the phone trying to cancel a cable subscription. “Lord, I meant supernaturally.”

Much of our growth happens in ordinary relationships. We learn patience because somebody needs it. We learn humility because we have to apologize. We learn generosity because someone’s need interrupts our plans.

“Friendship gives us a place to practise what we say we believe.”

We can listen to a sermon about forgiveness, but eventually we have to forgive an actual person who actually did something. And we must remain teachable ourselves. We do not enter every relationship as the person God sent to fix everyone else.

Are the people closest to us helping us follow Jesus? Are we helping them do the same?

4. Intervention: We need people who will interrupt our drift
“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

Proverbs 27:6 — NIV

Formation is the ongoing work of growing together. Intervention is the moment someone says, “We need to talk about where this is going.”

In Galatians 2:11–14, Paul confronted Peter because his treatment of Gentile believers contradicted the truth of the gospel. Peter had walked with Jesus and preached powerful sermons. He still needed correction.

“None of us graduates from needing accountability.”

Drift can happen gradually. We become more secretive, bitter, or comfortable with something we once recognized as wrong. A faithful friend cares enough to ask difficult questions.

That never gives someone permission to humiliate, manipulate, or control us. Galatians 6:1 calls for gentle restoration. Healthy correction seeks our good and comes with humility.

Who can ask you a difficult question and get an honest answer?

5. Collaboration: We need people to serve alongside

Romans 16 reveals a whole community behind the ministry we associate with Paul: coworkers, faithful servants, people who took risks, and people who opened their homes. Paul had a calling. He also had coworkers.

Encouragement can help someone finish what they might otherwise abandon. Reflecting on C. S. Lewis’s support, J. R. R. Tolkien wrote, “The unpayable debt that I owe to him was not ‘influence’ as it is ordinarily understood, but sheer encouragement.” Tolkien credited Lewis’s persistent interest with helping him bring The Lord of the Rings to completion. Source: Tolkien’s letter to Dick Plotz, reproduced in A Pilgrim in Narnia

Apparently, even getting the ring to Mordor required a friend encouraging the author.

Who knows what someone might finish because you encouraged them?

At North Shore Church, we say, “Loving God, Loving You, Together.” That last word matters. Serving together makes room for our contributions and gives friendship somewhere to grow. Sometimes a lifelong connection begins while stacking chairs.

“You don’t have to carry the whole mission to make a meaningful contribution.”

Join a team. Take part in a group. Help with a ministry. Get to know the people serving beside you.

6. Invigoration: We need people who help us keep going
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Galatians 6:2 — NIV

When Job’s friends first arrived after his devastating losses, they sat with him in silence for seven days and nights (Job 2:11–13). Their later explanations went badly wrong, but their initial willingness to be present mattered.

As a pastor, I have been in moments when people looked to me for words and I had none. Sometimes words do not suffice. Presence does.

Bring a meal. Make the call. Sit beside someone. Follow up after the first week, when everyone else has returned to normal and their life still hasn’t.

David experienced that kind of friendship in the wilderness:

“And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God.”

1 Samuel 23:16 — NIV

Jonathan could not stop Saul’s pursuit or move David immediately onto the throne. But he could go to his friend and help him keep trusting God.

“You may not be able to change somebody’s circumstances, but you can help them face those circumstances with renewed faith.”
Who are you looking for?

The Survey Center on American Life reports that Americans who attend church regularly have more friends, on average, than those who attend rarely or never. That does not mean everyone in a congregation feels connected. It reminds us of the opportunity we have to build meaningful relationships. Source: Survey Center on American Life

“God sets the lonely in families…”

Psalm 68:6 — NIV, excerpt

Connection takes more than sitting in the same room. We have to make room in our lives, notice someone standing alone, and move beyond the same conversations with the same people.

If you feel lonely, that is not proof that something is wrong with you. People move. Relationships change. Grief reshapes our lives. Trust can take time to rebuild. You do not have to tell everyone everything, but you can take one honest step with a trustworthy person.

And at the heart of this message is an even greater truth: Jesus came looking for us. He came to seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10). He called His disciples friends and spoke of love that lays down its life for others (John 15:12–15). Through His death and resurrection, we can receive forgiveness and be brought into relationship with God.

As we receive His love, we learn to extend it.

Who knows where you really are? And who are you looking for?

This week, move from a good intention to an actual conversation. Invite someone for coffee. Tell a trusted friend something more honest than “I’m fine.” Follow up with the person who has been on your mind.

Let’s be people who go looking.

Watch this sermon here!

Why Can’t We Be Friends

Who knows where you really are—and who is looking for you? In this message, Pastor Gary Adduono explores the friendship between David and Jonathan to show why godly relationships matter. Even the man who defeated Goliath needed someone beside him to help him find strength in God.

Through six essential aspects of friendship—navigation, celebration, formation, intervention, collaboration, and invigoration—Pastor Gary considers how meaningful relationships help people make wise decisions, grow in character, share joy, and carry life’s burdens. With practical encouragement and relatable humour, this message challenges listeners to move beyond surface connections, let trustworthy people into their lives, and become friends who reach out to others.

God created His people for life together. Somebody needs to know where they really are—and somebody may be waiting for them to make the first move.

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September 6, 2026 • 9 Minute Read
Why Can’t We Be Friends? Blog
Why Can’t We Be Friends? Living in Northern Ontario, you don’t have to travel very far to find yourself in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes you’re going fishing, hunting, or heading out to camp. And sometimes you listened to somebody who said, “Oh, there’s a shortcut.” That’s how a twenty-minute drive becomes an afternoon and an insurance claim. Before heading into the wilderness, one of the most important things you can do is tell somebody where you’re going and when you expect to return. If something happens, somebody needs to know where to look. That raises a question worth asking about more than our next fishing trip: Who is looking for you? Who notices when you’re missing? Who can hear you say, “I’m fine,” and recognize that you’re not? We can have a phone full of contacts and nobody we feel comfortable calling. People might know where we work, what we drive, and what we bought at the grocery store. But do they know where we really are? David needed a friend, too After David defeated Goliath, his story took an important turn. In 1 Samuel 18:1–4, Jonathan formed a deep friendship with David, made a covenant with him, and gave him his robe, tunic, sword, bow, and belt. Jonathan was Saul’s son. David was the man God had anointed to become king. There was every reason for their relationship to become a competition. Yet Jonathan chose to love the person whose future would change his own. “Jonathan could celebrate what God was doing in David, even when it changed what Jonathan expected for himself.” We need that kind of friendship. We also need to become that kind of friend. Created for connection A 2021 American survey found that 15 percent of men reported having no close friends, compared with 3 percent in 1990. Women also experienced a decline in close friendships. Those are American findings, but the question reaches into our own communities: who do we actually have close to us? Source: Survey Center on American Life The consequences matter. The U.S. Surgeon General’s 2023 advisory compared the mortality impact of lacking social connection to smoking up to fifteen cigarettes a day. This is a comparison of premature-death risk, rather than identical effects on the body. Friendship cannot cure every illness, but social connection matters deeply to our well-being. Source: U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory God made us for relationship. David and Jonathan’s story helps us see six ways godly friendship strengthens our lives. 1. Navigation: We need help finding our way “Where there is no [wise, intelligent] guidance, the people fall [and go off course like a ship without a helm], But in the abundance of [wise and godly] counselors there is victory.” Proverbs 11:14 — AMP It is easy to give advice when somebody else is making the decision. Our own decisions feel more complicated because our feelings, history, fears, and desires are involved. In 1 Samuel 20, Jonathan helped David navigate a dangerous situation. He discovered Saul’s intentions and used their agreed signal involving arrows to warn David that he needed to leave. Jonathan had information David could not access from his hiding place. Sometimes friendship gives us that same gift: someone who can see what we are struggling to see. “A good friend helps you see beyond what you feel.” Technology can help us organize our thoughts, but it cannot replace a trustworthy person who knows us, listens carefully, and speaks truth with love. Find people who love Jesus, love you, and are willing to be honest. Who do you invite into your decisions before they become consequences? Are you asking for advice, or shopping for agreement? 2. Celebration: We need people who can be happy for us “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Romans 12:15 — NIV We recognize the value of a friend who stays close when life falls apart. But who can hear our good news without making us feel guilty for having it? Jonathan acknowledged that David would become king and expressed his willingness to stand beside him. He made room for David’s future, even though it affected his own expectations (1 Samuel 23:16–17). “Your friend’s blessing does not mean God has forgotten you.” Celebrating someone else can be difficult when their answered prayer touches something we are still waiting for. We can bring that ache honestly to God and still choose to love our friend well. Friendship also needs ordinary joy: a meal, a campfire, a story, and laughter. There is something good about being with people around whom we can relax and simply be ourselves. 3. Formation: We need people who help us grow “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17 — NIV We like the idea of becoming sharper. We are sometimes less enthusiastic about the friction involved. “Lord, make me more patient.” Then we get stuck on the phone trying to cancel a cable subscription. “Lord, I meant supernaturally.” Much of our growth happens in ordinary relationships. We learn patience because somebody needs it. We learn humility because we have to apologize. We learn generosity because someone’s need interrupts our plans. “Friendship gives us a place to practise what we say we believe.” We can listen to a sermon about forgiveness, but eventually we have to forgive an actual person who actually did something. And we must remain teachable ourselves. We do not enter every relationship as the person God sent to fix everyone else. Are the people closest to us helping us follow Jesus? Are we helping them do the same? 4. Intervention: We need people who will interrupt our drift “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” Proverbs 27:6 — NIV Formation is the ongoing work of growing together. Intervention is the moment someone says, “We need to talk about where this is going.” In Galatians 2:11–14, Paul confronted Peter because his treatment of Gentile believers contradicted the truth of the gospel. Peter had walked with Jesus and preached powerful sermons. He still needed correction. “None of us graduates from needing accountability.” Drift can happen gradually. We become more secretive, bitter, or comfortable with something we once recognized as wrong. A faithful friend cares enough to ask difficult questions. That never gives someone permission to humiliate, manipulate, or control us. Galatians 6:1 calls for gentle restoration. Healthy correction seeks our good and comes with humility. Who can ask you a difficult question and get an honest answer? 5. Collaboration: We need people to serve alongside Romans 16 reveals a whole community behind the ministry we associate with Paul: coworkers, faithful servants, people who took risks, and people who opened their homes. Paul had a calling. He also had coworkers. Encouragement can help someone finish what they might otherwise abandon. Reflecting on C. S. Lewis’s support, J. R. R. Tolkien wrote, “The unpayable debt that I owe to him was not ‘influence’ as it is ordinarily understood, but sheer encouragement.” Tolkien credited Lewis’s persistent interest with helping him bring The Lord of the Rings to completion. Source: Tolkien’s letter to Dick Plotz, reproduced in A Pilgrim in Narnia Apparently, even getting the ring to Mordor required a friend encouraging the author. Who knows what someone might finish because you encouraged them? At North Shore Church, we say, “Loving God, Loving You, Together.” That last word matters. Serving together makes room for our contributions and gives friendship somewhere to grow. Sometimes a lifelong connection begins while stacking chairs. “You don’t have to carry the whole mission to make a meaningful contribution.” Join a team. Take part in a group. Help with a ministry. Get to know the people serving beside you. 6. Invigoration: We need people who help us keep going “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 — NIV When Job’s friends first arrived after his devastating losses, they sat with him in silence for seven days and nights (Job 2:11–13). Their later explanations went badly wrong, but their initial willingness to be present mattered. As a pastor, I have been in moments when people looked to me for words and I had none. Sometimes words do not suffice. Presence does. Bring a meal. Make the call. Sit beside someone. Follow up after the first week, when everyone else has returned to normal and their life still hasn’t. David experienced that kind of friendship in the wilderness: “And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God.” 1 Samuel 23:16 — NIV Jonathan could not stop Saul’s pursuit or move David immediately onto the throne. But he could go to his friend and help him keep trusting God. “You may not be able to change somebody’s circumstances, but you can help them face those circumstances with renewed faith.” Who are you looking for? The Survey Center on American Life reports that Americans who attend church regularly have more friends, on average, than those who attend rarely or never. That does not mean everyone in a congregation feels connected. It reminds us of the opportunity we have to build meaningful relationships. Source: Survey Center on American Life “God sets the lonely in families…” Psalm 68:6 — NIV, excerpt Connection takes more than sitting in the same room. We have to make room in our lives, notice someone standing alone, and move beyond the same conversations with the same people. If you feel lonely, that is not proof that something is wrong with you. People move. Relationships change. Grief reshapes our lives. Trust can take time to rebuild. You do not have to tell everyone everything, but you can take one honest step with a trustworthy person. And at the heart of this message is an even greater truth: Jesus came looking for us. He came to seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10). He called His disciples friends and spoke of love that lays down its life for others (John 15:12–15). Through His death and resurrection, we can receive forgiveness and be brought into relationship with God. As we receive His love, we learn to extend it. Who knows where you really are? And who are you looking for? This week, move from a good intention to an actual conversation. Invite someone for coffee. Tell a trusted friend something more honest than “I’m fine.” Follow up with the person who has been on your mind. Let’s be people who go looking. Watch this sermon here!Watch or Listen to this Sermon

Mr. Gary Adduono

Lead Pastor

August 24, 2026 • 19 Minute Read
Get Ahead of Yourself
Get Ahead of Yourself What You Fight Through Today May One Day Fight for You Most of us have been told at some point, “Don’t get ahead of yourself.” Usually, that is wise advice. But when it comes to our spiritual lives, there are times when we need to do exactly the opposite—not by rushing God’s timing, but by building something today that will be waiting for us tomorrow. David’s story shows us what that kind of preparation looks like. There is a place in Israel called the Valley of Elah. Today, tourists visit the valley where David fought Goliath. They walk down toward the stream, and many of them pick up a smooth stone as a souvenir. You can imagine it, can’t you? You kneel down, find a stone that feels about the right size, put it in your pocket, and take it home. Maybe you put it on a shelf. Maybe you show it to your friends and say, “This came from the valley where David defeated Goliath.” One guide admitted that there are so many tourists taking stones that they have to bring more rocks into the valley. So, in all likelihood, the stone in your pocket was never anywhere near David. But that really isn’t the point. The rock is not valuable because it came from the Valley of Elah. It is valuable because · it reminds us what happened there. · It reminds us that a shepherd boy stood before a giant. · It reminds us that faith ran toward fear. · It reminds us that God can take something ordinary—a smooth stone from a stream—and use it to accomplish something extraordinary. But there is something else about that stone. Before David could throw it, he had to pick it up. Before he could stand before Goliath, he had to kneel beside the stream. That is where this story begins. Not with David standing over a giant. Not with David holding a sword. It begins with David on his knees, choosing stones. Two Scenes, One Thread Consider two moments from David’s life. The first is probably the most famous moment of his life. David faces Goliath in the Valley of Elah. The second happens years later. It is quieter, messier and far less celebrated. David is running for his life, and he finds himself asking a priest for help. At first, these stories may not seem connected, but there is a thread running through both of them. Something David did in one season was waiting for him in another. A victory from his past became provision for his future. A weapon he once defeated was waiting to fight for him. And that brings us to our big idea: The foundations you lay today become the weapons waiting for you tomorrow. Or we could say it this way: What you fight through today may one day fight for you. The Stone Israel’s army is gathered on one side of the Valley of Elah. The Philistines are gathered on the other. Every day, Goliath walks into the valley and challenges Israel. He is loud. He is intimidating. He is experienced. He is armed. He is everything David is not. And everyone is afraid. Then David arrives. David has not come to fight. He has come to deliver food to his brothers and check on their welfare. But while he is there, he hears Goliath defying Israel and dishonouring God. Something rises inside David. David looks around and essentially asks, “Is nobody going to do anything about this?” His oldest brother becomes angry with him. Saul doubts him. Goliath laughs at him. But David remembers what God has already done. · He remembers the lion. · He remembers the bear · He remembers the private victories that prepared him for this public battle. 1 Samuel 17:40 (CSB) “Instead, he took his staff in his hand and chose five smooth stones from the wadi and put them in the pouch, in his shepherd’s bag. Then, with his sling in his hand, he approached the Philistine.” David went down to the stream and chose five smooth stones. And to pick up those stones, David had no choice but to kneel. · Before David rose like a lion, he knelt like a lamb. · Before he ran toward the giant, he got low before God. · Before there was public victory, there was private surrender. If we are honest, we often want the standing-over-the-giant moment without the kneeling-beside-the-stream moment. · We want authority without surrender. · We want victory without preparation · We want the platform without the pasture. · We want God to do something through us, but we resist what God wants to do in us. In other words, we often want all the glory without any of the guts. David picked up five stones, He would only need one. Perhaps he simply wanted to be prepared. But either way, he spent more time gathering stones than the victory ultimately required. There is something in that for us. · You may spend more time praying than the immediate situation seems to require. · You may spend more time studying Scripture than seems necessary for today. · You may spend more time worshipping, serving, giving and preparing than anyone recognizes. But time spent on your knees is never wasted. You do not know which prayer will steady you. You do not know which verse will return to you. You do not know which act of obedience will prepare you for an opportunity you cannot yet see. David walked into the valley with five stones, but one was enough. He ran toward Goliath. He placed the stone in his sling. The stone struck Goliath in the forehead, and the giant fell facedown. David then took Goliath’s own sword and used it to finish the battle. The weapon that had been intended to kill David became the weapon David used to complete the victory. Remember that sword. We are going to see it again. The Sword Years have passed. David is no longer standing before Goliath. Now he is running from Saul. He has been celebrated, promoted and welcomed into the king’s household. But Saul has become jealous and unstable. David has gone from national hero to hunted fugitive. He leaves with almost nothing. No army. No supplies. No food. No weapon. He is afraid, under pressure and trying to survive. This is not David at his best. He is frightened, and he is not completely honest with Ahimelech about why he is there. Scripture does not hide the weaknesses of its heroes. But where does David go when he has nowhere else to go? He goes to Nob. He goes to the sanctuary. He goes to the house of God. David asks Ahimelech the priest for food. The priest gives him consecrated bread. Then David asks for a weapon. 1 Samuel 21:8–9 (CSB) David said to Ahimelech, “Do you have a spear or sword on hand? I didn’t even bring my sword or my weapons since the king’s mission was urgent.” 9 The priest replied, “The sword of Goliath the Philistine, whom you killed in the Valley of Elah, is here, wrapped in a cloth behind the ephod. If you want to take it for yourself, then take it, for there isn’t another one here.” “There’s none like it!” David said. “Give it to me. Can you imagine that moment? David walks into the sanctuary empty-handed. He is tired. He is hungry. He is afraid. He is running for his life. Then the priest reaches behind the ephod and brings out a sword. Not just any sword. Goliath’s sword. The sword from the most famous victory of David’s life had been waiting for him in the house of God. David got the head of Goliath—but in doing so, he also got ahead of himself. What he conquered in one season became provision in another. The victory he won years earlier had gone ahead of him. David did not know, when he faced Goliath, that he was preparing a weapon for one of the lowest moments of his life. But God knew. We do not know what today’s obedience is preparing for tomorrow. · You do not know when the prayer you pray today will become the strength you need tomorrow. · You do not know when the Scripture you put into your heart today will become the weapon you reach for tomorrow. · You do not know how the generosity you practise today will open the door for ministry tomorrow. · You do not know how the faithfulness nobody sees today will prepare you for the battle everybody sees tomorrow. Too many people are simply getting by: · Spiritually, they are getting by. · Financially, they are getting by. · Relationally, they are getting by · Emotionally and physically, they are getting by. Everything is hand to mouth. Everything is crisis management. Everything is about surviving until tomorrow. I understand that there are seasons when survival feels like all we can manage. But God does not want survival to become the permanent condition of your soul. God wants to build something in you today that will be waiting for you tomorrow. He wants you to get ahead of yourself. How Do We Get Ahead? Plant Yourself Spiritually When David had nothing, he went to the house of God. And what did he find there? · Bread for his stomach and a blade for his hand. · Provision for the journey and protection for the fight. That is a picture of what the church is supposed to be. The church is not merely a building we visit once a week. The church is a sanctuary where weary people encounter the presence of God. It is a table where hungry people are fed. It is an armoury where believers are equipped. It is a family where wounded people discover that they do not have to fight alone. David later wrote in Psalm 27:4 (CSB): I have asked one thing from the Lord; it is what I desire: to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, gazing on the beauty of the Lord and seeking him in his temple. David was not merely committed to a location. He was committed to the presence of God. Psalm 84:10 (CSB) says: Better a day in your courts than a thousand anywhere else. I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God than live in the tents of wicked people. If you want to get ahead spiritually, plant yourself in the presence of God. · Plant yourself in Scripture. · Plant yourself in prayer. · Plant yourself in worship. · Plant yourself in the church. Roots do not grow because a tree visits the soil occasionally. Roots grow because the tree remains planted. · You cannot build spiritual strength on occasional contact with God. · You cannot spend six days allowing the world to shape your thinking and expect one hour on Sunday to undo all of it · You need more than a weekly visit. You need daily roots. Psalm 23 says that God prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies. We have everything we need in the presence of God. Enemy might be present, but he’s already been defeated. David found bread and a sword in the sanctuary. You may walk into the presence of God empty-handed, but you do not have to leave empty-hearted. Plant yourself spiritually. What you store in your spirit today will be available when the battle comes tomorrow. Honour Authority David’s relationship with Saul was complicated. Saul had welcomed David into the palace, but Saul also tried to kill him. Saul was still the king, but he was no longer acting like the man God had called him to be. David refused to kill Saul when he had the opportunity. Twice he could have ended Saul’s life, and twice he refused. David understood that Saul’s failure did not give David permission to abandon his own character. That is important. · You do not have to become dishonourable because somebody else has behaved dishonourably. · You do not have to become cruel because somebody has treated you cruelly. · You do not have to lose your integrity because someone else has lost theirs. But honour does not mean pretending everything is fine. · David honoured Saul—and David ran from Saul. · He respected Saul’s position—but he did not stay within reach of Saul’s spear. Honour is not blind obedience. It is not permission for abuse. It is not refusing healthy boundaries. David would not attack Saul, but neither would he remain in a room where Saul kept trying to pin him to the wall. Romans 13:1 CSB teaches us: Let everyone submit to the governing authorities, since there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are instituted by God. Paul wrote those words under the Roman Empire. This was not comfortable theology. It was conviction. Authority can be one of the tools God uses to shape, test and train us. That does not mean every decision made by a leader is right. When human authority commands what God forbids, or forbids what God commands, our first loyalty remains with God. But how we respond still matters. David would not seize through rebellion what God had promised to give him in God’s timing. David had already been anointed as the future king, but he refused to manufacture the fulfilment of the promise. He trusted God enough to wait. David got ahead by remaining faithful. Do not sacrifice your character to accelerate your calling. If God has promised it, you do not have to manipulate it. Honour God. Honour people. Let God handle the timing. Worship Continually · Before David was a warrior, he was a worshipper. · Before he ever walked into a palace, he worshipped in a pasture. · Before crowds sang songs about him, David sang songs to God when nobody was listening. The years with the sheep looked insignificant. But they were not wasted years. · In the pasture, David learned to worship. · In the pasture, he learned to protect what had been placed in his care. · In the pasture, he fought the lion and the bear. · In the pasture, he learned that God was faithful. The wilderness was not empty space between David and his destiny. The wilderness was training. Some of us are waiting for a more important season before we become faithful. · “When I have more time, I will pray.” · “When life settles down, I will worship.” · “When I have more money, I will give.” · “When somebody notices me, I will serve.” But if you will not worship in the pasture, you will not be prepared for the palace. David’s worship went ahead of him. Long before Saul knew David as a warrior, he knew him as a worshipper. When Saul was tormented, someone remembered that David could play the lyre. What David developed in private opened a door in public. Worship is the sound of a healthy soul. Worship reminds us that the giant is not the biggest thing in the valley. Worship puts fear back into perspective. Worship turns our attention away from the size of the enemy and toward the greatness of God. When you worship, you are getting ahead of yourself. · You are putting truth into your soul before the lie arrives. · You are remembering God’s faithfulness before fear asks you to forget. · You are building an altar today that you may need to return to tomorrow. Do not wait until the battle begins to learn how to worship. Worship continually. Give Stubbornly Why was Goliath’s sword at the sanctuary? The text does not tell us every detail. 1 Samuel 17 tells us that David initially placed Goliath’s armour in his own tent. But by the time we reach 1 Samuel 21, the sword is at Nob, wrapped in cloth and kept behind the ephod. It appears that this trophy of victory had been dedicated to God. · David could have kept it as a trophy. · He could have hung it on his wall. · He could have displayed it and told everyone, “That sword belonged to the giant I defeated.” Instead, the sword was in the house of God. David seems to have recognized that the victory did not ultimately belong to him. It belonged to God. And because it had been placed in God’s hands, it was waiting when David needed it again. Years later, David said in 2 Samuel 24:24 CSB: “…I will not offer to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.” · David understood that worship and generosity cost something. · Real generosity is not giving God whatever happens to be left over. · It is choosing to put something valuable into His hands. Generosity prepares us. · It loosens the grip of possessions on our hearts. · It teaches us to trust God as our provider. · It creates resources for ministry. It allows today’s blessing to become tomorrow’s provision—for us, for the church and for people we may never meet. When God places something in your hands, it is for more than your consumption. · It may be seed. · It may be a sword · It may be something God wants to use again. This is true of money, but it is also true of your time, your abilities, your testimony and your opportunities. What are you holding as a trophy that God is asking you to place in His hands? What could God do through our generosity if we give Him what costs us something? · Give stubbornly. · Give when it is easy. · Give when it requires faith. · Give when nobody applauds. · Give because God has been faithful. What we place in God’s hands is never wasted. What You Fight Through May Fight for You David walked into the Valley of Elah with a sling. Years later, he walked out of the sanctuary with Goliath’s sword. What he once fought against was now fighting for him. That is what God can do with your battles. · The pain you survive can become compassion for someone else. · The failure God restores can become wisdom that protects you in the future. · The season that taught you to pray can become the reason you know how to stand when another crisis comes. · The Scripture that carried you through grief can become the word you offer to another grieving person. · The financial discipline you establish today can create opportunities for generosity tomorrow. The faith you develop in one valley may be the weapon you reach for in the next. Do not waste your battle. Our prayer must become more than, “God, get me out of this.” You may be gathering stones right now. You may feel as though all you are doing is kneeling beside a stream while everyone else is watching the giant. Keep gathering. Keep praying. Keep worshipping. Keep serving. Keep giving. Keep obeying. You are not wasting time. You are getting ahead of yourself. The Greater David There is one more thread running through this story. 1 Samuel 17:54 says: David took Goliath’s head and brought it to Jerusalem… That is a strange detail because Jerusalem had not yet become David’s capital. At that time, it was still controlled by the Jebusites. David carried the evidence of his victory toward Jerusalem. Years later, another Son of David would go to Jerusalem. Jesus is the greater David. David entered a valley to face an enemy Israel could not defeat. Jesus entered Jerusalem to face an enemy humanity could not defeat. David defeated Goliath using Goliath’s own weapon. Jesus defeated death through death itself. Hebrews 2:14 (CSB) says: Now since the children have flesh and blood in common, Jesus also shared in these, so that through his death he might destroy the one holding the power of death—that is, the devil— At the cross, it looked like death had won. It looked like hell had won. It looked like the enemy’s greatest weapon had finally defeated the Son of God. But three days later, the stone was rolled away. The weapon the enemy used against Jesus became the means through which Jesus defeated the enemy. Through death, Jesus defeated death. Through the cross, Jesus disarmed the powers of darkness. Through the grave, Jesus opened the way to resurrection life. The enemy’s greatest weapon became the instrument of his own defeat. And because Jesus went ahead of us, we do not face death alone. He went ahead of us into suffering. He went ahead of us into the grave. He went ahead of us in resurrection. He has already entered the place we fear most, defeated the enemy and made a way for us to follow. · You may feel like you are facing a giant today. · You may feel like you are running for your life. · You may have arrived with empty hands, a hungry soul and no idea what to do next. Come into the presence of God. There is bread for your journey. There is strength for your battle. There is grace for your failure. There is salvation through Jesus. And perhaps there is a weapon waiting for you—a promise, a testimony, a prayer, a truth God planted in you years ago. The foundations you lay today become the weapons waiting for you tomorrow. What you fight through today may one day fight for you. · So kneel beside the stream. · Gather the stones. · Plant yourself spiritually. · Honour faithfully. · Worship continually. · Give stubbornly. Do more than get by. By the grace of God, get ahead of yourself. Watch or Listen to this Sermon HereWatch or listen to the live delivery of this message Here

Mr. Gary Adduono

Lead Pastor

August 31, 2026 • 6 Minute Read
Doing Your Best When Life Is The Worst
Doing Your Best When Life Is the Worst Choosing Character Over Success There are some people who are easy to be kind to. They encourage you, appreciate you, and make it easy to give them your best. And then there are other people. They misunderstand you. They question your motives. They take what you meant for good and somehow find a way to make it bad. You try to help, and they seem determined to make your life more difficult. We know kindness is a fruit of the Spirit. We know Jesus calls us to love, forgive, bless, and serve. But there are moments when kindness feels crazy. What do you do when you give somebody your best and they give you their worst? How do you deal with difficult people without becoming ugly yourself? Difficult people do not simply test our patience. They test our character. If we are not careful, their anger becomes our anger. Their bitterness becomes our bitterness. Their ugliness begins to shape us. The story of David and Saul found in 1 Samuel shows us another way.READ: 1 Samuel 18–24 When Success Makes You a Target David may have had one of the worst workplaces in the Bible. He was brought into Saul’s court specifically to make things better. When Saul was tormented, David played music and brought him relief. David served faithfully, defeated Goliath, went wherever Saul sent him, and succeeded in everything he was asked to do. Then a song changed everything: “Saul has killed his thousands, but David his tens of thousands” (1 Samuel 18:7). David’s success exposed Saul’s insecurity. Saul became jealous and suspicious. Before long, the king whom David had faithfully served was throwing spears at him and plotting his death. David had fought lions, bears, and a giant. But what do you do when someone who once loved you now wants to destroy you? Sometimes the people you have helped the most will hurt you the deepest. Sometimes it is intentional; other times, you become a casualty of a war happening inside them. Either way, their behaviour confronts you with a choice: Will their lack of character determine yours? Don’t Become Saul to Defeat Saul David eventually had opportunities to retaliate. On one occasion, Saul entered a cave without realizing David and his men were hiding inside. David’s men were convinced God had delivered Saul into his hands. David could end the chase, remove the threat, and take the throne God had already promised him. But David refused to kill Saul. Later, David entered Saul’s camp while everyone slept. Saul’s spear was beside his head, and Abishai offered to kill him with one strike. Again, David refused. David would not become Saul in order to defeat Saul. That matters because it is possible to win an argument and lose your character. You can prove your point and damage your witness. You can hurt the person who hurt you, only to discover that you have become just like them. First Peter 3:9 tells us not to repay evil for evil or insult for insult, but to give a blessing instead. That is not weakness. It takes more strength to bless than it does to retaliate. You do not overcome evil by becoming better at evil. You overcome evil with good. Forgiveness Does Not Mean Unlimited Access Refusing revenge does not mean pretending destructive behaviour is acceptable. David forgave Saul, but David still ducked. When Saul threw the spear, David moved. Eventually, he got out of town. He did not kill Saul, but neither did he keep volunteering to stand beside Saul’s spear. Protecting yourself is not necessarily unloving. It can be wise. Jesus told His disciples to be “as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). We need both. Innocence without wisdom can leave us vulnerable to manipulation. Wisdom without innocence can make us cynical and calculating. Forgiveness and access are not the same thing. You can forgive someone and still recognize that trust has been broken. You can pray for someone without placing yourself back within reach of the spear. You can honour what is good in someone without denying what is dangerous. Forgive always—but remember that trust is earned. Don’t Let Hurt Harden Your Heart Spite is obvious. Sourness is more subtle. Maybe you never retaliate, but somewhere inside you decide, “I will never let anyone get that close again.” You keep serving, but you stop trusting. You keep smiling, but you hold your heart at a safe distance. The problem is that we can begin making new people pay for old wounds. Jesus knew Judas would betray Him. He knew Peter would deny Him. He knew the crowd shouting “Hosanna” would soon be replaced by one shouting “Crucify Him.” Yet He still loved. Jesus did not allow the unfaithfulness of people to change the faithfulness of His heart. Ask God to heal your heart without closing it. Ask Him to help you remain tender without remaining trapped. Keep Doing Good The final temptation is simply to stop. You tried to help and got hurt, so you stop helping. You served without appreciation, so you stop serving. You trusted someone and were betrayed, so you stop trusting. You gave your best and were criticized anyway, so you decide never to give your best again. But the answer to being hurt while doing good is not to stop doing good. “Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up” (Galatians 6:9). Saul could chase David out of the palace, but he could not chase the purpose of God out of David. He could take David’s position, comfort, and reputation. He could force David into caves. But he could not take David’s calling, and he could not force David to become bitter. That choice still belonged to David. The same is true for us. We may not get to choose how somebody treats us, but we still get to choose what kind of people we will become. Jesus gave this world His very best, and the world gave Him a cross. He was betrayed, falsely accused, mocked, beaten, and crucified. Yet He did not allow our worst to change who He was. Because He did not stop, forgiveness, healing, and new life are available to us. You do not have to carry the spear somebody threw at you—and you do not have to throw it back. You can lay it down. Let God deal with Saul. You keep becoming who God has called you to be. Keep loving. Keep serving. Keep building. Keep believing. Even when life gives you its worst, keep giving God your best.Watch or Listen to this Sermon

Mr. Gary Adduono

Lead Pastor

August 8, 2026 • 4 Minute Read
Blog Post
Kill It Before It Kills You Sin rarely ruins a life all at once. More often, it happens slowly—one compromise, one excuse, and one small act of disobedience at a time. In 1 Samuel 15, King Saul had every reason to believe he had won a great victory. The battle was over, the people were celebrating, and Saul was even preparing to build a monument to himself. From the people’s perspective, it was a great day. The problem was that God wasn’t celebrating. God had given Saul clear instructions, but Saul only partially obeyed. He spared King Agag and kept the best of the livestock, later claiming they could be offered as a sacrifice to God. Samuel responded with words that still confront us today: “To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.” —1 Samuel 15:22 Saul tried to offer God the appearance of worship while withholding the obedience God had asked for. But religious activity cannot compensate for disobedience. We cannot give God something of our choosing while refusing to surrender the very thing He has asked of us. Sin Begins with a Small Compromise Saul did not wake up one morning and decide to throw away his calling, his kingdom, and his relationship with God. His decline began with smaller compromises. He feared the opinions of people more than he feared God. Pride crept into his heart. He began taking credit for victories that belonged to others—and ultimately to the Lord. That is often how sin works in us. It begins with a thought we entertain, a conversation that goes too far, a small act of dishonesty, or a habit we excuse because it does not yet appear destructive. But partial obedience is still disobedience. Compromise Slowly Desensitizes Us Every compromise makes the next one easier to justify. Things that once troubled our conscience begin to feel normal. We stop asking, “How close can I stay to God?” and begin asking, “How close can I get to the edge without falling?” That is a dangerous way to live. Saul eventually became almost unrecognizable. The king who once removed witchcraft from the land ended his life seeking guidance from a medium. The very thing he once opposed became part of his downfall. Sin grows when it is allowed to remain. What begins as a foothold can become a stronghold. Sin That Is Not Taken Out Will Take You Out Saul spared Agag when God had commanded otherwise. Samuel eventually did what Saul had refused to do. It is a graphic moment in Scripture, but it gives us a powerful picture: sin must be dealt with decisively. The New Testament gives followers of Jesus the same instruction: “If by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.” —Romans 8:13 We are not called to manage sin, hide it, rename it, or keep it under control. We are called to put it to death through the power of the Holy Spirit. As 17th Century theologian John Owen famously warned, We must be killing sin—or sin will be killing us. God Offers a Fresh Start This message is serious, but it is not hopeless. No matter how far someone has wandered, there is still an opportunity to turn back to God. Repentance means more than feeling badly about consequences. It means agreeing with God about our sin, confessing it honestly, turning away from it, and walking in a new direction. Some earthly consequences may remain, but failure does not have to be the final chapter. Jesus paid for our sin at the cross, and His resurrection power can bring life into places that appear completely broken. There is no sin so small that it does not need to be confessed—and there is no sin so great that Jesus cannot forgive it. What have you been excusing, hiding, or allowing to remain? Bring it into the light. Confess it to God. Invite trusted believers to pray with you and hold you accountable. Stop walking down the road that leads away from God. “To obey is better than sacrifice.” Do not wait until a compromise becomes a stronghold. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, kill it before it kills you—and live free.

Mr. Gary Adduono

Lead Pastor